The Best of Twitter - December 2008 or:
December 2008
sees Twitter becoming
ubiquitous, with
potplants and
even kicking
babies sending
tweets (see the
Corey Menscher
story below).
There was also
the President
Bush shoe incident
plus plenty of
Christmas cheer
and angst to
keep twitterers
busy.
 | NickiHiss I ate all of 2009's carbs in less than an hour. 8:04 PM Dec 31st, 2008 |
 | CcSteff Kids are complaining that I take too long counting for hide and seek. It's because I'm eating their snack while they hide. 4:20 PM Dec 31st, 2008 |
 | bcompton I'm thinking about starting a blog in 2009 but I'm not sure the internet is really the place for all of my cat pictures. 4:07 PM Dec 31st, 2008 |
 | rstevens Hey when does that cool new President finally get released? MacWorld? 5:07 PM Dec 30th, 2008 |
 | gknauss Carrying bags of groceries to the car, "Ewok Celebration" came on the iPod. Had to bang my head aginst a wall until the earbuds fell out. 4:38 PM Dec 30th, 2008 |
 | joeschmitt When watching old scifi movies, it irritates me that none of them foresaw Twitter. "In space no one can hear you tweet." 1:40 PM Dec 30th, 2008 |
 | lonelysandwich Twignorance: what we endure from our loved ones with their attempts to belittle us by calling it 'tweeter'. 9:14 PM Dec 29th, 2008 |
 | ttseco Dear tweeps,
I am dictating this to my wife since I have the flu. Parenthesis I... hey don't write everything I say. Delete this. No not th 5:09 AM Dec 29th, 2008 |
 | gordonshumway The anti-depressant Cymbalta can cause facial swelling, weight gain and impotence. Its new motto? I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT. 2008-12-29 |
| | gordonshumway The Vet: "For the vaccines, boarding, and his annual checkup, that'll be $282."
Me: "Right...so how much for a new dog?"
The Vet: "..." 2008-12-29 |
 | tj Wanna give a librarian a heart attack? Sneak in a book, sit @ a table in plain sight, start highlighting. I swear her bun nearly popped off 2008-12-29 |
 | abigvictory Guy at work got his wife a home waxing kit and Wii Fit for Christmas. Looking forward to the inevitable divorce stories. 2008-12-29 |
| | joeschmitt 40 is the new 30. For dogs that means 6 is the new 4. 2008-12-29 |
 | emilybrianna The "J" on the neighbors' light-up "JOY" decoration just burnt out. A multifaith family, perhaps? 6:00 PM Dec 28th |
 | secretsquirrel Once in my life I'd like to adjust my monocle, peer frowning at some art critic and haughtily ask: "Are you aware of the works of Fellatio?" 2:28 PM Dec 28th |
 | trelvix For tonight's performance the part of "Creepy White Guy Who Makes & Holds Eye Contact Way Too Long For A Mall" will be played by me. 12:12 PM Dec 28th |
 | badbanana I'm a simple man. All I need is air conditioning, a strong WiFi signal, every TV channel, and perhaps a robot butler. 11:42 AM Dec 28th |
 | Moltz I am going to be in such good shape now that I found these Wii Fit cheat codes. 5:47 AM Dec 28th |
 | AuntMarvel The wildness of pants my husband wears in public while with me is proportional to the hotness of the old boyfriend into whom we will run. 3:15 PM Dec 27th |
| | gordonshumway My attempts at contributing to the conversation have all been met with the real life equivalent of "UNFOLLOW". 2:35 PM Dec 27th |
 | gruber My favorite present this year, by far, is a pair of slippers. Or as I call them, my work shoes. 11:45 AM Dec 27th |
 | sween Barista: "Grande, half-caf, non-fat, extra-hot, extra-whip, cinnamon dolce latte."
Lady: "Is that one mine?" 3:36 AM Dec 27th |
| | joeschmitt My brother: "I don't need an Obama bumper sticker. I drive a Prius." 8:19 AM Dec 26th |
 | echuckles I am so over profundity. 8:02 AM Dec 26th |
| | badbanana Only 365 shopping days until Christmas. 10:21 AM Dec 25th |
| | lonelysandwich This will go down as the year Santa tightened his belt and learned a valuable lesson: tightening your belt only makes you feel more bloated. 10:17 AM Dec 25th |
 | Remiel You may star this post in lieu of buying me a present. Dec 23d 2008 |
 | InsoOutso Son fell asleep on the couch watching Nemo, so I paused it on the sharks and scooted the couch within 6" of the flat screen. Now we wait. 7:42 AM Dec 21st |
 | beep Was just informed that we are quote-unquote "NOT having a freestyle rap battle for our wedding vows." 4:48 PM Dec 22nd |
 | luckyshirt When something breaks, my 2-year-old son says "Physics!" Wife translates as "Fix it!", but I know the smart-ass gene has passed & mutated. 3:31 PM Dec 22nd |
 | OblongRobber Polite alternative to "no" in 2009: "Not in this economy." As in: "You want fries with that?" "Not in this economy." 3:04 PM Dec 22nd |
 | scottsimpson My haircut went from "cool" to "Christian golfer" a lot faster this time. 2:50 PM Dec 22nd |
 | fistsoffolly If I were asked to be, say, a Bond girl, I would totally be willing to get in awesome shape. Until then? Eclairs, bacon, and sloth. 2:17 PM Dec 22nd |
 | munki Whatever the Baby Jesus came to save us from, apparently it wasn't small children busking on violins. 11:57 AM Dec 22nd |
 | raincoaster The trouble with being so far away from loved ones is, you can't give them a smack on the back of the head when they need it! 9:47 AM Dec 22nd |
| | raincoaster If it rains cats and dogs, what does it snow? Polar bears and garbage cans? Arctic foxes and voles? Walruses and herring? 8:48 AM Dec 22nd |
| | ttseco RT @ttseco: What's wrong with the spellchecker? Oh, I'm writing on paper. 7:31 AM Dec 22nd |
| | bcompton Christmas at the inlaws. Lots of angsty tweets to come. You've been warned. 9:44 AM Dec 21st |
 | curmudge Getting my Grinch on. 7:22 AM Dec 21st |
 | shoesonwrong I read about everything, end up being an expert on nothing, and am forced to tweet about my cats as a result. 6:11 PM Dec 19th |
 | crispycracka Talking to grandma on the phone, she pauses & says "Oops- I just got teabagged!" Me: "Whaaa?" Her: "I'm drinking tea & the bag hit my nose." 9:16 AM Dec 19th |
 | AmyJane My mom likes to take Jonas to church for Christmas. The last time he went he just kept asking, "Hey! Why does HE get to say Jesus Christ?" 7:23 PM Dec 17th |
 | globalhermit When you insert Led Zep II into iTunes and it asks if you want to import it, the choices should be "Hell Yes" and "Of Course!", not yes/no. 5:19 PM Dec 16th |
 | r2d2 *woooooooooo doot doot deet doot* *blork* 5:21 AM Dec 13th |
| | badbanana My will to live is somewhere in that coffee pot. 4:07 AM Dec 3rd 2008 |
 | mayjah Terrible day. That is all. 2008-12-12 |
 | matthewbaldwin Think *your* self-esteem is low? Imagine being a back-of-the-tree Christmas ornament. 7:45 PM Dec 6th 2008 |
 | alinasmith When I have a headache my funny slows down. But my bitchy? My bitchy does not slow down. 2008-12-12 |
 | wilshipley I think you'd be shocked by how many tweets I type out and then delete, thinking, "Nah, that's just being a dick." 11:57 AM Dec 7th 2008 |
 | hotdogsladies You should see me tweaking this PHP code. I'm like a toddler with a fork, trying to improve an electric outlet. 9:18 AM Dec 7th 2008 |
 | pothos Water me please. 1:35 PM Dec 4th 2008 |
 Botanicalls.com offers a device that connects your leafy pal to Twitter. When your plant needs water, it will send a tweet, then thanks you when you show it love. | |
 | hoosiergirl My desire to make rum balls came to a shameful end in a liquor store parking lot with my kid screaming, "Please don't leave me for rum!" 2008-12-16 |
 | brettp Most wireless problems can be solved with a really, really long cable. 2008-12-16 |
 | strutting We've replaced your regular life with Twitter. Let's see if you notice! 5:27 AM Dec 15th |
 | itstheinterweb (remarkable
avatar) |
| | hoosiergirl If my husband insists on me singing carols for charity, I'm wearing my shirt that says, "My favorite toys use batteries." He can suck it. 11:34 AM Dec 14th |
| | echuckles A guy dressed as Santa just said "what's up, baby?" to me. I challenge you to ruin the magic of Christmas in fewer words than that. 5:35 PM Dec 13th |
| | strutting Hah, what a weird coincidence. MY core competency is in never using phrases like "core competency." 7:57 AM Dec 13th |
 | acton Looking forward to the Bush Shoe pun headline in the Sun tmrw. Any suggestions? 2008-12-14 |
Michael
Acton issued this challenge when
news reports came out that an Iraqi journalist
had thrown a shoe at President George W.
Bush. Alex Tew responded immediately with
this brilliant suggestion: | |
 | tewy @acton sock and awe 2008-12-14 |
 | kariedwards My tech tweets don't go over so well with you. So I'm going to change gears to something more popular. Like spaghetti. WHO LIKES SPAGHETTI? 2008-12-12 |
| | alinasmith You know your attention span is f**d when you can't keep it together long enough to take in a 140 character thought. 2008-12-15 |
| | bcompton When this computer gains sentience, it's going to ask a lot of awkward questions. 5:01 PM Dec 8th 2008 |
| | Moltz In the car. Hank: Mom, can I have the iPod? Karen: It's the weekend. Don't you want to talk to Daddy? Hank: Daddy, can I have the iPod? 9:15 AM Dec 7th 2008 |
Think
you're an
early adopter,
huh? @kickbee
has you
beat. Expectant
father Corey
Menscher  wanted
to "create
a device
that would
give me
a chance
to be aware
of our baby's
movements".
He created
a waistband
for his
wife which
sends a
Tweet everytime
the baby
kicks, naming
the project
"Kickbee". |
|
 | kickbee I kicked Mommy at 2008-12-06 14:29:46 9:29 AM Dec 6th |
 | pagecrusher Social networks trick me into being alone more than being a loner ever did. 12:40 PM Dec 4th 2008 |
| | strutting Standing in line behind a bunch of Beyonce ringtones at the post office. 7:07 AM Dec 2nd |
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